Daniel Kiser

Melissa Haas

Melissa Haas serves as the spouse-supporting therapist at HopeQuest. Melissa has a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and is a licensed professional counselor.  Passionate about spiritual community, healthy marriages, and intimacy with God, Melissa regularly facilitates small groups and teaches and speaks on these topics in order to help the Body of Christ grow relationally with God and each other.  

Melissa and her husband Troy have been married for thirty-four years and have three adult children and one grand-daughter. They have devoted their lives to helping others find hope and freedom from addiction, giving back the comfort they have received on their own journeys of healing.  

Daniel Kiser

Daniel Kiser

Daniel is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist in the state of Tennessee. He has earned master degrees in Marital and Family Therapy and Biblical Studies from Lee University. Throughout his clinical experience, he has demonstrated clinical effectiveness working with adolescents and families through utilization of evidenced based approaches in his roles as a counselor, clinical supervisor, and behavioral health manager. He has worked with adolescents with severe suicidal behaviors, anxiety, depression, aggression, and high-risk behaviors in residential treatment. Addressed the relational distress within the parent-child relationship created by their child’s disruptive behavioral responses, helping parents through their despair, resentment, and disillusionment. He is invested in the integration of theology and psychology, believing that activation of human longings, desires, and vitality for life is based upon both disciplines. Aside from professional development, he also has experienced the profound impact of a transformative therapeutic relationship that provides accountability, exploration of underlying wounds and thoughts, and compassionate care. Counseling is oriented towards reclaiming, rediscovering, and restoring vital aspects of human development and he is eager to help others in their process as well. 

For Sex Addicts

Bethesda Workshops

Understanding Sex Addiction

Today, addiction is widely recognized and better understood. Treatment centers are common, and support groups are mainstream. Admitting to alcohol or drug struggles is often met with support and even respect. But saying, “I might be a sex addict” is still something else entirely.

Porn’s widespread presence has made that struggle slightly more relatable. It’s everywhere—and powerful. Churches are beginning to confront the issue, with more offering accountability groups and plenty of Christian resources now available.

Yet those who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior usually feel overwhelming shame, especially as Christians. Unfortunately, the shame of sexual addiction fuels further acting out. It’s a secret sin, where strugglers are afraid to admit the problem. Those of us who are Christians have tried harder, and we’ve begged God to deliver us from this problem. When we fail, there are spiritual, emotional, physical and relational damages. The shame escalates and is debilitating. It is often powerful enough to keep sex addicts from asking for help.

The good news is that no one, including sex addicts, are beyond God’s grace. A solution exists to the problem of sexual addiction, and healing is possible.

For Men

Compulsive sexual behavior is a broad label that includes a range of behaviors, like compulsive porn use, serial affairs and strip clubs. It’s not just about sex. At its core, it’s about trying to meet real needs—like love, affirmation, and connection—with false solutions.

For years, the focus on sex addiction has been mostly male-centered, but even then, many men stayed silent out of guilt or fear. Culture often sanctions sexual behavior in men while shaming emotional vulnerability, leaving guys trapped in a cycle of secrecy and self-condemnation.

Whether the pattern is porn, hookups, or using sex to deal with overwhelming emotions, the root issue is the same: trying to fill a deeper void. More and more men are struggling with online behaviors—porn, chat rooms, cybersex, etc.

The good news? Healing is absolutely possible. You can break the cycle, find freedom from shame, and rebuild your relationships—with others, with God, and with yourself.

For Women

Yes, women grapple with compulsive sexual behavior as well, though even the term itself can feel burdensome or unsettling. Love addiction—distinct from sex addiction—is another profound struggle many women face. Often, sex addiction is not truly about sex; rather, it reflects an attempt to soothe deep emotional needs—such as the longing for love, acceptance, and affirmation—through means that ultimately leave those needs unmet.

For a long time, sex addiction was seen as a “men’s issue,” and women were overlooked. But the reality is different: about a third of visitors to adult sites are women, and experts estimate that 30-40% of those struggling with sexual addiction are female. Even so, resources and support tailored for women have been slow to develop.

Many women carry a unique and heavy shame around this struggle. Cultural expectations often place harsher judgments on them, leading many to suffer in silence, believing they are alone in their experience.

For some women, sex addiction shows up as repeated affairs. Others may be caught in a cycle of pornography use, masturbation, or sexually explicit online interactions—often seeking connection in digital spaces that ultimately leave them feeling emptier.

In 1997, Woodmont Hills Church in Nashville hosted the first workshop focused on female sexual addiction, founded by Marnie Ferree, who sought to "comfort others as I have been comforted" (2 Corinthians 1:4) after finding healing herself. Now part of Bethesda Workshops, the Healing for Women program addresses the unique needs of women struggling with sex and relationship addictions.

Recovery is possible. You can break the cycle. You can heal from shame, reclaim your worth, and build a life rooted in real connection—with others, with yourself, and with God.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just start with one honest step. Ask for help. You’re not alone.

First Steps For Sex Addicts

If you’re beginning to realize you have a problem with sexual addiction (or are heading down that road) or you’re already certain you need help, here are some first steps you can take.

Talk to someone about your problem.

According to a slogan from the Twelve Steps, we’re as sick as our secrets. Locate a trusted friend or therapist, share about your struggle and ask for help. It’s not enough just to confess your sin to God. Simply being honest with someone helps relieve the shame and start a healing process.

Learn more about the problem and the solution.

Reading is a good starting place. For specifically Christian resources, if you’re male, get Unwanted by Jay Stringer; if you’re female, get No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction by Marnie Ferree. Other great books are anything by Patrick Carnes, including Out of the Shadows, Don’t Call It Love, and the workbook Facing the Shadow. Check out the Resources section for an extensive list of suggested reading.

Set behavior boundaries.

Make any changes you can think of to curb your acting out behaviors. Put your computer in a public place and install an Internet filter. Block contact with an affair partner. Don’t carry cash to spend at a strip club. Change your cell phone number or email address. Most people find it hard, if not impossible, to maintain strict boundaries early in recovery. Don’t give up if you can’t do these kinds of things by yourself. Using the other tools of recovery will help you succeed here.

Attend a Twelve Step or support group.

No one can recover alone or with the help of just one other person. Being part of a community is key – and not just any community. At least several people in your support system need to be successfully abstaining from inappropriate sexual activity. Find a 12 Step group like Sexaholics Anonymous or Sex Addicts Anonymous or a faith-based program like Pure Desire or Celebrate Recovery. Attend regularly. Several times a week is best.

Find a counselor who understands sex addiction.

Many counselors (including Christian ones) aren’t trained in treating sex addiction, and they can unintentionally do more harm than good. Find a counselor who understands addiction and its root causes. The best place to locate a clinician is through the website of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Visit  www.sexhelp.com for a searchable database.

Decide to postpone any major decisions.

Agree to defer important decisions like getting a divorce or running off with an affair partner. Until you’ve been sober for several months (and preferably at least a year), you aren’t thinking clearly.

Consider coming to a Healing Workshop.

It may feel like a big step, but a Bethesda Workshop provides a HUGE jumpstart into recovery. It quickly gets you way down the road to healing. The Healing Workshops section has complete information.

Recommended Workshops

Healing For Men

For men who personally struggle with pornography and other forms of sex or relationship addiction

Read More
Healing for Women

For women who personally struggle with pornography and other forms of sex or relationship addiction

Read More
Healing for Teens & Their Parents

For teens ages 15-19 struggling with problematic sexual or relational behavior

Read More

Self-Test

If you’re concerned about your sexual or relational behavior, ask yourself these questions that comprise the simple PATHOS screening test (adapted) developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes:

  • Preoccupied: Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts or relationship behavior?
  • Ashamed: Do you hide some of your sexual or relational behavior from others?
  • Treatment: Have you ever sought help for sexual or relational behavior that was problematic for you?
  • Hurt others: Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual or relational behavior?
  • Out of control: Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire or your relational behavior?
  • Sad: When you have sex or engage in certain relational behavior, do you feel depressed afterwards?

If you answer “yes” to more than two questions, experts highly recommend you talk with a trained therapist to explore your answers. Bethesda Workshops suggests that any “yes” answer is problematic and deserves further exploration.

Another helpful resource is the Sexual Addiction Screen Test (SAST), a longer questionnaire developed by Dr. Carnes and provided by the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), specifically through the Recovery Zone materials. It’s a 52-item yes/no screening that provides confidential results and interpretation of your answers.

Bethesda Workshops has no way of knowing which website visitors click to take the SAST and receives no information about your results.

Sexual Addiction FAQs

We offer workshops for all your personal needs.

I’m a committed Christian. I know what I’m doing is wrong. Why can’t I stop by just reading my Bible or praying more? Are you sure I don’t simply need more faith?

Reading your Bible, praying, and increasing your faith are all important parts of your spiritual walk. But simply being a Christian doesn’t exempt you from having an addiction any more than it might spare you from having diabetes.

Sexual addiction is a many-faceted problem which demands a multi-approach solution. Addiction is a physical, mental, and emotional disease as well as a spiritual problem. All four areas must be addressed. Would you treat your diabetes by simply praying more?

My spouse doesn’t know about my sexual acting out. Do I have to tell? What about my children?

Your sexual secrets are understandably embarrassing and shameful. They also are having a tremendous impact on your marriage, even if you believe your spouse doesn’t know. This secret sin will handicap your relationship. You can never have true intimacy and commitment unless it’s built on honesty.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you should immediately confess your sexual behavior to your spouse. In fact, that approach isn’t a good plan! Consultation with a professional and with other recovering addicts is strongly recommended. Be sure there are resources in place to help your spouse before you disclose. Bethesda Workshops covers disclosure in every individual intensive. You can also access our two-part podcast on disclosure.

What about my kids? What do I tell them?

Sharing your story with your children is also a difficult step. Professionals in the field generally agree that children, both minors and adults, have a need to know (to varying degrees) about a parent’s addiction. You should consider your children’s ages, maturity, and personality when discussing sensitive information.

The primary thing to consider is your motive for telling your children: Is it to promote honesty and healing within the family, or is to relieve your guilt or manipulate the children into comforting you? Again, consultation with an addiction professional is helpful.

What should I tell others about the workshop? I sure don’t want to say I’m going to a conference on sexual addiction!

You don’t have to explain in detail where you’re going or what you’ll be working on. You can share that you’re attending a Christian workshop that’s designed to bring you closer to God and to guide you toward being the person God has called you to be. Another general statement is to say the workshop will look at a variety of childhood issues and how they might be impacting your life and relationships in the present. It’s healthy to have boundaries! That’s one of the things we’ll discuss at the workshop.

My situation is different. My sex partners are the same sex, and the pornography I use involves the same sex. Does that make me a sex addict? If a come to a workshop, will the other participants be comfortable with me there?

The type of acting out doesn’t determine whether or not someone is sexually addicted, and it doesn’t necessarily mean someone is gay or lesbian. It’s not unusual for heterosexual men to act out with other men, and heterosexual female sex addicts sometimes become involved with other women. Gay or lesbian individuals obviously act out with their same gender. Same sex or opposite sex activity isn’t the issue in terms of addiction, and Bethesda Workshops treats all acting out the same. (For some people, concerns about sexual orientation might be something to explore after establishing sobriety from all forms of acting out.) Almost every workshop is attended by individuals who act out with their same gender, and other participants are welcoming and unfazed.

TESTIMONIALS

Restored Lives

“I resisted any type of community and realized it was a big missing piece of my recovery.”

Healing for Men

“I did not expect the depth of material and tools I received for my recovery and I am thankful.”

Healing for Men

“The integration of Godly values to truly heal core wounds was remarkable.”

Healing for Men

“I resisted any type of community and realized it was a big missing piece of my recovery.”

Healing for Men

“I did not expect the depth of material and tools I received for my recovery and I am thankful.”

Healing for Men

“The sense of community and brotherly camaraderie was so encouraging.”

Healing for Men

“I didn’t think this would reach so deep in my soul.”

Healing for Men

“The healing I have already experienced really surprises me. I will be forever grateful for this.”

Healing for Men

“The comprehensiveness was astounding. I liked the variability of learning experiences.”

Healing for Men

“This workshop is so, so awesome. Wish I had known about this many years ago.”

Healing for Men

“I am leaving with ample tools and I had fantastic discovery. 15 out of 10 experience.”

Healing for Men

“We left feeling so encouraged.”

“Safe place to take on the hard stuff.”

“The ratio of couples to therapists was great, especially having a male and female therapist in the group.”

“I believe this workshop will help save our marriage.”

“We were really stuck in our coupleship, and Bethesda helped us get unstuck.”

“I never thought my wife and I could laugh together again and have fun.”

“I came in carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I’m leaving with the ability to walk out with a greater freedom than expected.”

Healing for Women

“The format, tools, and therapists are amazing.”

Healing for Women

“I feel I have a better, much better vision and tools to improve my life.”

Healing for Women

“I realized I am not alone.”

Healing for Women

“I realized I am not alone.”

Healing for Women

“The hands-on assignments were life-altering.”

Healing for Women

“This has been life-changing.”

Healing for Women

“I learned more in 4 days about my addiction and tools to combat it than I have in 10 years of therapy.”

Healing for Women

“I’m leaving feeling strengthened and loved.”

Healing for Women

“I was looking for tools and connections and I found both.”

Healing for Women

“I was blown away. I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into but this was the perfect, most welcoming, life giving, non judgmental place to start my recovery.”

Healing for Women

“I didn’t expect to have the spiritual experience and it was amazing.”

Healing for Partners

“This was a powerful weekend. I feel more confident in my journey. Thank you for empowering me and giving me the tools to move forward.”

Healing for Partners

“I’m walking away feeling more hopeful for myself.”

Healing for Partners

“The Lord heard my cry and used this workshop to answer my prayer.”

Healing for Partners

“The insight, education, hope and healing I’ve experienced here was beyond what I imagined.”

Healing for Partners

“Bethesda Workshops was a place where I was met with love, understanding and complete acceptance. I was able to bear my soul in a safe place.”

Healing for Partners

“This was an incredible and life changing experience in every way. I am eternally grateful to Bethesda Workshops.”

Healing for Partners

“This was a great workshop and opportunity to connect with others who are going through the same issues.”

Healing for Partners

“I received understanding, tools and a jumpstart in therapy.”

Healing for Partners

“This has been the most healing experience of my life.”

Healing for Couples

“I connected with my spouse in ways I wasn’t sure I could.”

Healing for Couples

“Bethesda Workshops changed my life and I am eternally grateful for all you do. Having this shared experience with my wife will serve us immensely in our future.”

Healing for Couples

“You all have certainly changed our lives.”

Healing for Couples

“This was our first opportunity to do any couples work and it was hugely beneficial!”

Healing for Couples

“I came out more confident that we can heal and move forward.”

Healing for Couples

“It furthered our healing as a couple with very hands-on exercises to help us see our parts and places more clearly.”

Healing for Couples

“Thank you to all the Bethesda Workshops staff. You care for us like family.”

Healing for Couples

“I believe God was at work at Bethesda.”

Healing for Couples

“The staff here are priceless.”

Healing for Couples

“Exceeded my expectations. I am hopeful for my marriage for the first time in a long time.”

Healing for Couples

“This wasn’t just surface-level therapy. It went so much deeper.”

Healing for Men

“I got a solid foundation about how I can fight my addiction.”

Healing for Men

“I didn’t feel like just another ‘sex addict’ client, but dealt with on a very individual level.”

Healing for Women

“Amazing therapists! Wow! After experiencing so many ‘bad’ counselors, I’m so impressed at the depth of each one.”

Healing for Women

“I really valued the leadership and therapists. You could tell how invested they were in this work.”

Healing for Women

“The workshop leaders are very effective at creating a climate of trust.”

Healing for Women

“The staff who have lived this journey were an incredible source of inspiration, credibility, and competency.”

Healing for Women

“Wonderful, caring counselors”

Healing for Women

“I will never be the same after this workshop!”

Healing for Women

“I was skeptical about being with partners of addicts, but it was so healing to hear their stories, see their strength, and receive grace and care from them.”

Healing for Women

“It gave me so much hope.”

Healing for Women

“I didn’t expect to make such connections with other female addicts, which was a highlight.”

Healing for Women

“This workshop was a lifeline to me when I needed it most.”

Healing for Women

“The healing I experienced was more than I ever could have imagined.”

Healing for Women

“I absolutely love the counselors at this workshop. They were well informed, loving, and compassionate.”

“This was very pragmatic and participatory. I did specific things and practices that deepened my experience with God.”

“Now I see the value of sitting still with God.”

“I thought I was in a sound spiritual place and wasn’t sure what to expect from this workshop. I learned so much about myself and God and how past hurts still impact my relationship with him.”

“I came away certain that God cares about me and our relationship.”

“My fears dissolved instantly upon the start.”

"I learned a lot about myself and my triggers."

Healing for Teens

"I now have the tools I need to respond to relapse and the boundaries set in place to avoid triggers."

Healing for Teens

"I recommend this program to anyone who needs it!"

Healing for Teens

"A lot of the same things that made me anxious about attending were the most impactful components of the workshop. The vulnerability, the group aspect, and the connections I formed were a big part of this."

Healing for Teens

The connections you make and the wisdom that is spoken were the most impactful components of the workshop for me."

Healing for Teens

"The experiential moments were extremely eye-opening. The affirmations were a beautiful component. NOT HAVING OUR PHONES WAS A GIANT BENEFIT! All the curriculum was valuable! Developing a plan before leaving was key!"

Healing for Teens

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