Daniel Kiser

Melissa Haas

Melissa Haas serves as the spouse-supporting therapist at HopeQuest. Melissa has a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and is a licensed professional counselor.  Passionate about spiritual community, healthy marriages, and intimacy with God, Melissa regularly facilitates small groups and teaches and speaks on these topics in order to help the Body of Christ grow relationally with God and each other.  

Melissa and her husband Troy have been married for thirty-four years and have three adult children and one grand-daughter. They have devoted their lives to helping others find hope and freedom from addiction, giving back the comfort they have received on their own journeys of healing.  

Daniel Kiser

Daniel Kiser

Daniel is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist in the state of Tennessee. He has earned master degrees in Marital and Family Therapy and Biblical Studies from Lee University. Throughout his clinical experience, he has demonstrated clinical effectiveness working with adolescents and families through utilization of evidenced based approaches in his roles as a counselor, clinical supervisor, and behavioral health manager. He has worked with adolescents with severe suicidal behaviors, anxiety, depression, aggression, and high-risk behaviors in residential treatment. Addressed the relational distress within the parent-child relationship created by their child’s disruptive behavioral responses, helping parents through their despair, resentment, and disillusionment. He is invested in the integration of theology and psychology, believing that activation of human longings, desires, and vitality for life is based upon both disciplines. Aside from professional development, he also has experienced the profound impact of a transformative therapeutic relationship that provides accountability, exploration of underlying wounds and thoughts, and compassionate care. Counseling is oriented towards reclaiming, rediscovering, and restoring vital aspects of human development and he is eager to help others in their process as well. 

For Parents of Teens

Parent's Pain

Problematic sexual behavior affects more than just the teens who are acting out. Trying to cope with a daughter’s or son’s sexual acting out is one of the hardest challenges parents face. You’re aware that the sexually saturated culture encourages problems, of course, but you didn’t expect that your teen would have them, at least not on this level.

Parents struggle emotionally when a teen is in trouble. Maybe you’re embarrassed and ashamed that your teen is violating your values regarding sexual behavior. Perhaps you feel guilty and wonder if somehow you might be to blame. Maybe you weren’t strict enough, or maybe you were too strict. How did things go this wrong?

You also are affected by your teen’s changing behavior overall. It’s not just the sexual acting out; the lying, deception, blaming, anger outbursts, drama or withdrawal are paralyzing. Your daughter or son may accuse you of being out of touch with the times or interfering with their business. It’s common for teens with problematic sexual behavior and their parents to develop strained relationships.

You may be deeply afraid. You’re fearful about the consequences your teen may experience such as a sexually transmitted infection or pregnancy, concerned for their emotional and spiritual well-being, or even terrified for their safety. Their high-risk behavior keeps you awake at night.

Who do you talk to? Is your church a safe place to share this very personal situation? Do you believe few other parents have these struggles? You likely feel terribly alone and even hopeless.

Teen's Denial

The culture is swamped with sexual messages, images and values – most of them unrealistic and unhealthy. Sadly, the church is largely ill-equipped and ineffective in providing healthy alternatives. Silence or shame only fuel the allure of society’s norms and expectations.

Typically, teens won’t recognize their sexual behavior is a problem. They think they’re engaging with their friends and boyfriends like “everyone else.” Unfortunately, they may be right, since sexting and promiscuity are more the norm than the exception, including for teens raised in Christian homes.

Teens don’t have the maturity to realize the impact of their sexual and relational behavior, which might affect the rest of their lives. Problematic sexual behavior can interfere with education, health, self-esteem, and social and spiritual development. It can also be extremely dangerous when teens put themselves in risky situations.

Developmentally, teens live in the moment and focus on having a good time or meeting some underlying need. Many teens may act out sexually, but are able to maintain focus on healthier choices. They can self-correct and realign with their parents’ (and often their own) values. Teens who are in trouble may compare themselves with peers who aren’t, and they falsely believe they can pull it together and be OK.

Teens and Sex

According to a 2017 report from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), 55% of both females and males (a general sample, not specifically Christian) say they’ve had sexual intercourse by the time they are 18 years old.

While most Christian families believe in the value of sexual abstinence before marriage, the majority of Christian teens don’t achieve that goal. When you consider the complete (accurate) definition of “sex,” the incidence of activity among teens skyrockets. Many adolescents, perhaps especially those among communities of faith, only consider vaginal intercourse to be “sex.” They ignore oral sex (either giving or receiving) as a part of the definition, much less all the other fondling and activities parents used to call “petting.” You don’t hear the term “technical virgin” much these days, but this is the way many Christians view themselves.

The reality is that having intercourse isn’t the litmus test of whether a teen is in trouble regarding his/her sexual behavior. Many Christian adolescents haven’t engaged with another person sexually, but their pattern of pornography, sexting, or compulsive masturbation is disrupting their lives and hurting them emotionally and spiritually. In fact, viewing porn and sexting is the norm among teenagers today.

Attempts to Help

As children grow into adolescents, parenting is much more difficult. Your child is too old to physically control, and emotionally, is learning to differentiate, which means to develop a separate identity. Parents struggle to know when to restrict and when to let go.

The challenge is especially hard when it comes to sexual behavior. When a teen’s behavior includes activities that aren’t just unwise or unhealthy, but that parents believe are morally wrong, the stakes feel much higher. You want to protect their spiritual well-being and help guard their heart.

To this end, you’ve probably tried all kinds of approaches to the situation. Many Christian parents sincerely believe their job is to make their children’s choices, regulate their behavior, fix their problems, fight their battles, and smooth their road. Surely good parents are in service to their children.

At the other end of the spectrum, many Christian parents think kids learn best when they are severely punished for their mistakes, or better yet, fully insulated from things that might create temptation.

Maybe you’ve tried new lectures, new schools, new rewards, Christian counseling, purity programs, or restricting technology. Some of these tactics worked for a while, until they didn’t. You’ve endured sleepless, terrifying nights wondering where your teen was, when they would come home, or if they would come home at all.

The crushing pain of watching a child spiral downward is too much. You and your spouse may be at odds with each other about what to do. Maybe you blame and resent each other for the mess you’re in. You’ve done everything you know to do, and it’s not enough. You’re at your wits end.

Family-Based Healing

Real change happens within a systems framework, meaning the whole family engages in the healing process. Parents need and deserve help for themselves to overcome their own emotional struggles and learn how to help their teen through their own attitudes and behaviors.

For this reason, the Healing for Teens & Parent Workshop
are family-based, rather than a program just for the adolescent themselves. For your daughter or son to heal and that healing to last, parents must be part of the process. Struggling adolescents are much more likely to change in the context of family-based healing. That environment takes some of the pressure off, as they realize the treatment focus isn’t solely on them as the “problem.” It’s vital that the whole family be involved in a coordinated process of understanding, growth, and change.

Whoever is identified as the parents (whether parents or step-parents – those who have primary residential and legal responsibility for the teen) are REQUIRED to attend.

Research and experience shows that families with a struggling teen benefit from family therapy as well as help for the teen individually and for her parents. Even if you decide the Healing for Teens & Parent Workshop would be helpful for your family, we strongly recommend that parents get help for themselves and that the entire family participates in family therapy as a separate process.

Healing for Teens & Parent

For couples who are dealing with sex or relationship addiction

Read More

Teens & Parents Workshop

The Healing for Teens & Parents Workshop are based on the foundations of systems theory, group process, and a wholistic approach that examines issues beyond the teen’s problematic sexual behavior. This is a group process where multiple families attend at the same time (normally four to six families). The participants move between brief educational segments, activities, and group settings.

Some of the groups are separate gatherings of the girls and the parents, where each population has a safe space to share their challenges as a family. Other groups are family therapy (with the girls and parents together) in a multi-family group setting, meaning one or two other families will be part of the group. The intensive is active, experiential, and engaging for both the teen and the parents.

All participants (including Nashville area residents) stay together in a nearby hotel. The teen is required to stay with at least one parent in a hotel suite, which consists of a bedroom, a living room area with a pull-out sofa, and a shared bathroom. A single room for the teen isn’t an option. A step-parent may stay in the suite with the other parent and the teen, or in a separate room at the conference hotel, if desired. Parents are responsible for the teen overnight.

Group Process

A multitude of research shows the benefits of group therapy, including as a treatment for addiction. Because humans are fundamentally relational beings, group therapy is a natural ally of the healing process. Intrinsically, groups have many rewarding benefits such as reducing isolation, fostering attachment, and allowing members to witness the recovery of others. In the hands of a skilled counselor, a therapy is an ideal place for curative forces to influence long-term healing.

Peer support groups are a cornerstone of addiction recovery. Unfortunately, the sex addiction fellowships are geared for adults, and in fact, they aren’t an appropriate setting for teen females with problematic sexual behavior. Outside some occasional church-based, gender-specific groups, resources for girls are almost non-existent. Some counseling agencies that focus on adolescents offer groups, which may or may not be equipped to address problematic sexual behavior.

Parents of teens are more fortunate. Al-Anon is the “grandmother” of 12 Step groups for loved ones of alcoholics, and most Al-Anon groups welcome members whose loved one is dealing with a different drug of choice. Many areas have Al-Anon groups tailored to parents of addicts, which are especially helpful for parents of a teen with problematic sexual behavior.

Addressing Roots of Problematic Sexual Behavior

The culture’s saturation with sex and cultural messages about femininity are clear influences toward problematic sexual behavior. Frequently, though, deeper issues are present. Both “Big T” and “little t” traumas are often present. Attachment breaches, relinquishment by a birth parent, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, bullying, losses or other painful experiences are critical factors in a teen’s development. The resulting false core beliefs can lead a girl or boy to the false solution of using sex as a substitute for love, self-esteem or empowerment.

Sometimes these experiences lead to problematic behaviors or attitudes. Lying, deceit, entitlement, irresponsibility, defiance, histrionics, apathy, poor self-care, under achieving, eating disorders, and substance abuse may accompany the sexual acting out.

The family environment and parents’ relationship are sometimes part of that bigger picture. When the marital or co-parenting relationship is strained, family dynamics are impacted. Difficulties with siblings, or a chronic medical, emotional, relational or behavioral problem in one or more family members can contribute to a teen’s acting out.

Effective treatment addresses the whole-person within the family setting. It’s not enough to stop the specific behaviors that are clearly destructive. That’s actually just the beginning of healing. Lasting recovery depends on addressing underlying issues.

Parents of Teens FAQs

We offer workshops for all your personal needs.

My teen doesn’t think there's a problem. What should I do?

It's common for teens to minimize or deny the impact of their behavior, especially when they're feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or afraid. Rather than forcing the issue, try to express genuine concern without judgment. Let your teen know you're not trying to "fix" them, you simply want to heal as a family. The workshop is about finding tools and support for everyone involved, not singling them out.

My teen isn’t speaking to me. How do I get him/her to agree to attending a workshop?

When communication is shut down, it often signals deep hurt or distrust. Try not to push; instead, offer the workshop as a safe space for your teen to be heard by people outside the family. Many teens agree to come when they understand it’s not just about them, it’s about healing together. You can also let them know they’ll meet other teens going through similar struggles.

We’ve tried counseling before and it didn’t help. Why will a workshop be different?

Bethesda Workshops aren't just another round of therapy. They're immersive, multi-day experiences that bring together licensed therapists, trained facilitators, and families in a supportive, faith-based environment. Unlike traditional counseling, the workshop is a focused, intensive journey where teens and parents do their own work and come together with new understanding. Many families say it's the breakthrough they couldn’t reach through weekly sessions alone.

My daughter is having sex with her boyfriend. Should I forbid her from seeing him?

This is one of the hardest questions for parents. Instead of focusing solely on controlling behavior, we encourage you to explore what’s underneath it. Is your daughter seeking love? Safety? Validation? The workshop helps both teens and parents understand the deeper emotional and spiritual needs that drive sexual behavior. It’s not about punishment but connection, healing, and boundaries built from mutual respect.

TESTIMONIALS

Restored Lives

“I resisted any type of community and realized it was a big missing piece of my recovery.”

Healing for Men

“I did not expect the depth of material and tools I received for my recovery and I am thankful.”

Healing for Men

“The integration of Godly values to truly heal core wounds was remarkable.”

Healing for Men

“I resisted any type of community and realized it was a big missing piece of my recovery.”

Healing for Men

“I did not expect the depth of material and tools I received for my recovery and I am thankful.”

Healing for Men

“The sense of community and brotherly camaraderie was so encouraging.”

Healing for Men

“I didn’t think this would reach so deep in my soul.”

Healing for Men

“The healing I have already experienced really surprises me. I will be forever grateful for this.”

Healing for Men

“The comprehensiveness was astounding. I liked the variability of learning experiences.”

Healing for Men

“This workshop is so, so awesome. Wish I had known about this many years ago.”

Healing for Men

“I am leaving with ample tools and I had fantastic discovery. 15 out of 10 experience.”

Healing for Men

“We left feeling so encouraged.”

“Safe place to take on the hard stuff.”

“The ratio of couples to therapists was great, especially having a male and female therapist in the group.”

“I believe this workshop will help save our marriage.”

“We were really stuck in our coupleship, and Bethesda helped us get unstuck.”

“I never thought my wife and I could laugh together again and have fun.”

“I came in carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I’m leaving with the ability to walk out with a greater freedom than expected.”

Healing for Women

“The format, tools, and therapists are amazing.”

Healing for Women

“I feel I have a better, much better vision and tools to improve my life.”

Healing for Women

“I realized I am not alone.”

Healing for Women

“I realized I am not alone.”

Healing for Women

“The hands-on assignments were life-altering.”

Healing for Women

“This has been life-changing.”

Healing for Women

“I learned more in 4 days about my addiction and tools to combat it than I have in 10 years of therapy.”

Healing for Women

“I’m leaving feeling strengthened and loved.”

Healing for Women

“I was looking for tools and connections and I found both.”

Healing for Women

“I was blown away. I didn’t know exactly what I was getting into but this was the perfect, most welcoming, life giving, non judgmental place to start my recovery.”

Healing for Women

“I didn’t expect to have the spiritual experience and it was amazing.”

Healing for Partners

“This was a powerful weekend. I feel more confident in my journey. Thank you for empowering me and giving me the tools to move forward.”

Healing for Partners

“I’m walking away feeling more hopeful for myself.”

Healing for Partners

“The Lord heard my cry and used this workshop to answer my prayer.”

Healing for Partners

“The insight, education, hope and healing I’ve experienced here was beyond what I imagined.”

Healing for Partners

“Bethesda Workshops was a place where I was met with love, understanding and complete acceptance. I was able to bear my soul in a safe place.”

Healing for Partners

“This was an incredible and life changing experience in every way. I am eternally grateful to Bethesda Workshops.”

Healing for Partners

“This was a great workshop and opportunity to connect with others who are going through the same issues.”

Healing for Partners

“I received understanding, tools and a jumpstart in therapy.”

Healing for Partners

“This has been the most healing experience of my life.”

Healing for Couples

“I connected with my spouse in ways I wasn’t sure I could.”

Healing for Couples

“Bethesda Workshops changed my life and I am eternally grateful for all you do. Having this shared experience with my wife will serve us immensely in our future.”

Healing for Couples

“You all have certainly changed our lives.”

Healing for Couples

“This was our first opportunity to do any couples work and it was hugely beneficial!”

Healing for Couples

“I came out more confident that we can heal and move forward.”

Healing for Couples

“It furthered our healing as a couple with very hands-on exercises to help us see our parts and places more clearly.”

Healing for Couples

“Thank you to all the Bethesda Workshops staff. You care for us like family.”

Healing for Couples

“I believe God was at work at Bethesda.”

Healing for Couples

“The staff here are priceless.”

Healing for Couples

“Exceeded my expectations. I am hopeful for my marriage for the first time in a long time.”

Healing for Couples

“This wasn’t just surface-level therapy. It went so much deeper.”

Healing for Men

“I got a solid foundation about how I can fight my addiction.”

Healing for Men

“I didn’t feel like just another ‘sex addict’ client, but dealt with on a very individual level.”

Healing for Women

“Amazing therapists! Wow! After experiencing so many ‘bad’ counselors, I’m so impressed at the depth of each one.”

Healing for Women

“I really valued the leadership and therapists. You could tell how invested they were in this work.”

Healing for Women

“The workshop leaders are very effective at creating a climate of trust.”

Healing for Women

“The staff who have lived this journey were an incredible source of inspiration, credibility, and competency.”

Healing for Women

“Wonderful, caring counselors”

Healing for Women

“I will never be the same after this workshop!”

Healing for Women

“I was skeptical about being with partners of addicts, but it was so healing to hear their stories, see their strength, and receive grace and care from them.”

Healing for Women

“It gave me so much hope.”

Healing for Women

“I didn’t expect to make such connections with other female addicts, which was a highlight.”

Healing for Women

“This workshop was a lifeline to me when I needed it most.”

Healing for Women

“The healing I experienced was more than I ever could have imagined.”

Healing for Women

“I absolutely love the counselors at this workshop. They were well informed, loving, and compassionate.”

“This was very pragmatic and participatory. I did specific things and practices that deepened my experience with God.”

“Now I see the value of sitting still with God.”

“I thought I was in a sound spiritual place and wasn’t sure what to expect from this workshop. I learned so much about myself and God and how past hurts still impact my relationship with him.”

“I came away certain that God cares about me and our relationship.”

“My fears dissolved instantly upon the start.”

"I learned a lot about myself and my triggers."

Healing for Teens

"I now have the tools I need to respond to relapse and the boundaries set in place to avoid triggers."

Healing for Teens

"I recommend this program to anyone who needs it!"

Healing for Teens

"A lot of the same things that made me anxious about attending were the most impactful components of the workshop. The vulnerability, the group aspect, and the connections I formed were a big part of this."

Healing for Teens

The connections you make and the wisdom that is spoken were the most impactful components of the workshop for me."

Healing for Teens

"The experiential moments were extremely eye-opening. The affirmations were a beautiful component. NOT HAVING OUR PHONES WAS A GIANT BENEFIT! All the curriculum was valuable! Developing a plan before leaving was key!"

Healing for Teens

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